balloon strings
by Alexandra Shinai
Summary: she feels like she's losing her place in the world, wherever that may be. Bori/Bade


her smile fades when she sees the new girl. she examines her and then walks away (_because she's too perfect)_

jade's been taking classes for years. she's not really sure where she got the money to pay for all the dance lessons, vocal lessons, acting lessons, and whatever else she's stumbled upon. but this new girl had what jade had worked for without even training (_because jade's jade and tori's tori_)

jade feels like she's about to lose her place in the world, wherever the hell that is, and the only thing that keeps her there is beck. _(but she's losing him too_)

it's like she's tied to the world by a bunch of strands of string, almost like balloon strings, and each strike is a snip of one of the strings. when she saw beck and vega kissing, another string was cut.

when she broke up with beck, numerous strings were cut _(because the pain was too much for one cut_)

she tries to keep her grip, but it's so hard.

she knows that vega's better than her, that vega has natural talent _(and jade had no talent when she began_)

she decides she can sympathize with trina; defeated by people better than them _(but she'll never say that in public_)

beck is oblivious to the pain his girlfriend's going through. she doesn't know why, but she loves him for that _(because she doesn't want anyone to care_)

some people would call it "blinded by love". he is blinded by love.. for vega.

so every day, jade uses her shell. it's made of insults and beatings and the white-hot pain of a knife digging into her skin, leaving a scar that would hurt her mentally and emotionally.

jade's built this shell over the years, and she uses it because she doesn't want to be the girl who was defeated by tori vega.

she laughs at the idea of it, laughs and laughs until tears mix with her laughter _(but they're tears of pain, not joy_)

one day, she's at hollywood arts. she's about to go to her hideout, the janitor's closet, but she sees something that makes her stop dead _(and it's not pretty_)

she shakes her head as the rest of the strings are cut and it's official _(jade west has lost her place in the world_)

she's numb. one half of her wants to break down and cry, the other half wants to laugh _(it's so ironic, so predictable)_

her last words are "this is for you, beck," and she disappears.

* * *

><p>the whispers arise after she walks out the door, the janitor's closet door swings open and out comes a disheveled beck and tori <em>(and everyone knows what they were doing now<em>)

fans that jade never knew she had shoot rude comments at beck and tori, but tori seems proud. beck, on the other hand, doesn't know what to think _(but he's already chosen without realizing it)_

* * *

><p>jadelyn august west disappears for eight years, five months, and twenty-eight days and counting. on her twenty-fifth birthday, she is hired at hollywood arts as an acting teacher <em>(and she chokes back her tears when she realizes her classroom is sikowitz's old one)<em>

not much has changed. her hair goes past her shoulders, she has another piercing, and she still has her bitchy attitude.

she's teaching her class when her phone begins to vibrate wildly in her pocket. she holds up one finger for them to give her a minute, goes to the back of the room, and thumbs through the texts on her phone (_and her breath catches when she realizes who it is_)

she chews on her lip for a few moments. then she decides not to forgive him. he hurt her, made the most-feared girl in school break down. she doesn't read what the text says and instead sends him a very harsh text with instructions to leave her the fuck alone _(but she's not really done with him)_

* * *

><p>she quits after her second year is over with. it's made her a considerably larger amount of money than most regular teachers would get <em>(but that's only because the current principal is a perv)<em>

her phone vibrates and she reads the newest text.

_one more chance._

she replies back,

_no._

* * *

><p>jade west dies on a tuesday night. no one knows how she died or why she died, not even the coroners <em>(just like her life, her death was a mystery<em>)

beck dumps tori and shows up at jade's funeral. he makes a touching speech about her, and almost everyone is moved to tears. after all, he did know her better than anyone else.

and all in all, she feels sorry for him not realizing what he was doing until it was too late.

* * *

><p><em>(snipsnip.)<em>


End file.
